It’s was a Saturday, and I was working from
home. 3 hours on, and 2 hours off, and then 3 hours on again. In those 2
hours off, me and the kids go to the bookstore, and grab some books.
Then it’s off to the mall to get some shoes for my son, Kops, and some winter
friendly uniforms for my daughter, Inds. After working my 2nd set of
my 3-hour shift, I order a pizza, cheese sticks, and wings from Pizza Hut, and
sit and watch a Christmas movie on Netflix with the kids. Once we are done with
the movie, we bake a cake sit down and eat it. (I’m going somewhere with this
story I promise) Once we’re done with the cake, we all start to clean together.
Now it’s about 8:30pm, and Inds wants to work on some pages from her “Mom and
Me” American Girl Doll book. I on the other hand, would like to take about
30-45 minutes to work on my mommy blog. Then all of a sudden, that bad guy known
as “Mommy’s Guilt” kicks in. “Well, you did work 6 hours today”, “She just
wants to spend more time with you”, and “Stop being so selfish” are the phrases
that immediately start running through my mind. It is something that I think
plagues all mothers, and especially single mothers on a constant basis. Always
feeling like you haven’t talked with them enough, played with them enough, and just flat out haven't done enough for your child(ren). I’m here to tell
you, that you could do everything humanly possible, and it will still feel like
enough was not done. Here are 3 tips that I try to use to help you deal with that guilty feeling Note: (now you see I said "try" to do, it is a practice, and you may not get it right on the first few tries:
1.
STOP FEELING GUILTY……..As a mother, there is a pressure to be this "supermom", just to let you know, that woman does not exist! There is only so
much that any person can do at a given time, and do not waste your precious
time feeling guilty over what you were not able to do ,complete, accomplish,
etc….. instead focus on the things that you were able to get accomplished. To your little ones you ARE already their "superwoman"!
2.
Schedule specific times for one on one’s with
your kids, even if it’s only 30 minutes a day, with no interruptions and no electronics……This way your child/ren will feel that they were able to spend
some special time with mommy, and then that guilty feeling is taken away from
you because you know you’ve spent that quality uninterrupted time with your
child/ren. Then any other extra time that y'all spend together is lagniappe!
3.
Set time aside for yourself……….It is so
easy to overlook yourself, while trying to be super mom for your child/ren, but
as they teach you when you’re about to take off on an airplane “Put YOUR mask
on first before you try and assist anyone else”! This rings so true for
mothers, we get lost and burnt out in trying to be the “perfect mom” (which
doesn’t exist by the way), that we forget to take a small piece of time out for
ourselves, and then we have mommy’s guilt, like we could have done more
for our kids!?!? You need that “me” time, and must find that time for yourself
daily to prevent feeling burnt out.
I hope these quick tips has helped, and that you
can take these tips and apply them to your everyday life. And please do not feel that you are alone in this, we ALL go through these feelings, and have to confront, address, and demolish this "mommy guilt". Please feel free to
leave your comments, questions, and concerns below. I am not an expert on anything, just a single mother trying to
navigate this thing called life. Until next time loves, I’m signing off, OSM.
No comments:
Post a Comment